okay, maybe in another year or so...or perhaps 10 years later...i'll read this post and say..geex...you're really childish then....or...maybe i'll say....haiz...i wish i can turn back time...
this is was i am feeling now....reading my post when i was younger certainly made me miss those days.....
growing up....somehow i dunno...maybe becos i'm working and at the same time studying...so life kinda wore me out....or...is it becos...life itself is getting back at me..simply becos i was pretty god darn lucky for a very long time of my life???
im 23 this year....got a job...sometimes i feel seriously under-paid....studying...wondering where will the degree eventually lead me to....having a life..that maybe most ppl outside this its wonderful...everything going very well....but i think this year....is the year that i absolutely hate the most.....
the most impt thing that happened is the departure of my dajiu.....and all the trouble he has caused before and after he departure....although my grandma didn't tell say it out...but i know she is partly blaming me....i was the one to let him out...tell him to go off....and oh wells....whether i am right or wrong?...i dunno, would i have done something else, i also dunno....i just hope...that my grandma and everyone else can get over this...even if it takes me the rest of my life to have this regret in my heart.....really....everyone needs to let it go..and move on....some of us have...i'm not so sure my grandma has already or not.....at this point in time...i think she hasn't.....it hurts me alot to see her like that...but there's really close to nthg i can do...except talking to her....bringing her out..and really try my best to make her happy.......
then there is my mother and daddy.......funny rite...how my parent divorce....they choose to let their son be their middle man....my mum is getting lazy...dun want to move along...my dad...is left there hanging.....i really wish something or somehow this can have a good ending....and i also want to make sure that the hurt to both parties can be as minimal as possible.....its really delicate..with my mum involved....and one is in sg..the other in hk...how to settle....i'll have to be the one going here and there.....soothing both sides la.....
after that...there's er jiu....geez....moving house....i need to get that settled soon too....slowly..,..just waiting for the appropriate time to do the talking...and arranging.....and maybe we can all move on...and leave this sad place.....
my sis....i dun think i need to worry abt her yet....except for her studies...but there is really nthg much i can help her.....O levels....she is pretty much on her own already....
work??...haha...i feel like i'm getting capable....but this also makes me feel terribly underpaid for the work that i'm doing...also....i want my carefree assistant life back....i just dunno if this is really something worth it.....let me get thru my bata...and we shall see......
love life....hmmmm.....oh wells...things are just too busy for me to think abt it...i miss my nua-ing days....i really want to get hold of it...and enjoy myself nua-ing.....then i'll day dream...and think of my dream lover.....
school life....at least its second year now....cleared all the non bio modules...now its just really working hard...so see if i can get my dist and high dist....hahahahahaha....let's hope so....
have i mentioned i'm getting charge for not attending IPPT??....i just hope the charge is just a fine...which alot of ppl already say it is going to be just a 50 bucks fine....if it is...at least life is not that bad....i mean..i already do my IPT...and got a gym membership...so...i suppose..the JDO will let me off??...rite??...please la.....i pay 50 dollar fine..okay??
i really dun like growing old....i enjoyed growing up...but..now..it seems i growing old...so many things to worry..so many things waiting for me to clear....and how i need to work for my future....its taking its toll on me....but i will still need to face it in stride....and tackle them down...one by one...what cannot kill me only makes me stronger.....and stronger i'll be....
oprah said...once everything that i can possibly do is done with....just surrender it...and something somewhere will take care of it for you.....so...i'll shall put that in mind....do all i can do to the best of myself...and just surrender it......let it go....and may the good things happen and come back to me.....if all else fails...rmb...SMILE!!!!!!!...TERENCE...jiayou...u can do it...jiayou!!!
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