don't ask me why i am here...again...

okay, maybe in another year or so...or perhaps 10 years later...i'll read this post and say..geex...you're really childish then....or...maybe i'll say....haiz...i wish i can turn back time...

this is was i am feeling now....reading my post when i was younger certainly made me miss those days.....

growing up....somehow i dunno...maybe becos i'm working and at the same time studying...so life kinda wore me out....or...is it becos...life itself is getting back at me..simply becos i was pretty god darn lucky for a very long time of my life???

im 23 this year....got a job...sometimes i feel seriously under-paid....studying...wondering where will the degree eventually lead me to....having a life..that maybe most ppl outside this its wonderful...everything going very well....but i think this year....is the year that i absolutely hate the most.....

the most impt thing that happened is the departure of my dajiu.....and all the trouble he has caused before and after he departure....although my grandma didn't tell say it out...but i know she is partly blaming me....i was the one to let him out...tell him to go off....and oh wells....whether i am right or wrong?...i dunno, would i have done something else, i also dunno....i just hope...that my grandma and everyone else can get over this...even if it takes me the rest of my life to have this regret in my heart.....really....everyone needs to let it go..and move on....some of us have...i'm not so sure my grandma has already or not.....at this point in time...i think she hasn't.....it hurts me alot to see her like that...but there's really close to nthg i can do...except talking to her....bringing her out..and really try my best to make her happy.......

then there is my mother and daddy.......funny rite...how my parent divorce....they choose to let their son be their middle man....my mum is getting lazy...dun want to move along...my dad...is left there hanging.....i really wish something or somehow this can have a good ending....and i also want to make sure that the hurt to both parties can be as minimal as possible.....its really delicate..with my mum involved....and one is in sg..the other in hk...how to settle....i'll have to be the one going here and there.....soothing both sides la.....

after that...there's er jiu....geez....moving house....i need to get that settled soon too....slowly..,..just waiting for the appropriate time to do the talking...and arranging.....and maybe we can all move on...and leave this sad place.....

my sis....i dun think i need to worry abt her yet....except for her studies...but there is really nthg much i can help her.....O levels....she is pretty much on her own already....

work??...haha...i feel like i'm getting capable....but this also makes me feel terribly underpaid for the work that i'm doing...also....i want my carefree assistant life back....i just dunno if this is really something worth it.....let me get thru my bata...and we shall see......

love life....hmmmm.....oh wells...things are just too busy for me to think abt it...i miss my nua-ing days....i really want to get hold of it...and enjoy myself nua-ing.....then i'll day dream...and think of my dream lover.....

school life....at least its second year now....cleared all the non bio modules...now its just really working hard...so see if i can get my dist and high dist....hahahahahaha....let's hope so....

have i mentioned i'm getting charge for not attending IPPT??....i just hope the charge is just a fine...which alot of ppl already say it is going to be just a 50 bucks fine....if it is...at least life is not that bad....i mean..i already do my IPT...and got a gym membership...so...i suppose..the JDO will let me off??...rite??...please la.....i pay 50 dollar fine..okay??

i really dun like growing old....i enjoyed growing up...but..now..it seems i growing old...so many things to worry..so many things waiting for me to clear....and how i need to work for my future....its taking its toll on me....but i will still need to face it in stride....and tackle them down...one by one...what cannot kill me only makes me stronger.....and stronger i'll be....

oprah said...once everything that i can possibly do is done with....just surrender it...and something somewhere will take care of it for you.....so...i'll shall put that in mind....do all i can do to the best of myself...and just surrender it......let it go....and may the good things happen and come back to me.....if all else fails...rmb...SMILE!!!!!!!...TERENCE...jiayou...u can do it...jiayou!!!

wishlist..updated may 2nd...hahaha

goodness gracious...as somethings in my wishlist materialised.....things are quickly filling up the empty slots....hahaha....

1. Coach tote bag....for MEN!!
2. Sunglasses.......
3. New accessories......chain...rings....bangles....
4. Shoes...loafers!!
5. Cash...lots of cash...hahaha

p.s. coach things are so much more expensive here in sg than the states...hahaha...who is going states??...tell me...i wanna buy coach!!

long needed post....hahahahaa

alrite...and so....its been 1 month since i last updated my blog....and i think i should make it a point to clean up the cob webs....hahahaa...basically....i'm bored to death tonite.....

ok...lets start with something...work related(or rather camp related).....hmm...i've been in GB for 5 months already....whooo....1 more month to half a year there and 2 more for my 1 year soldier mark...which also reminds me that i must have some form of celebration with everyone i know...hahaha.......and slowly....i'm beginning to settle into the whole tempo already...oh wells....i think thats the only thing that can happen...isn't it??...but i'm kinda at peace with the status now....at least i'm not getting into any trouble...and it'd better stay this way.....

as for my personal relationships.....yes yes...i'm very happy to report to everyone that.....I'M STILL SINGLE!!!!....so...dun bug me anymore if i'm finally attached or not.....cos i dun really meet anyone in camp.....

my friendships however...needs some strengthening....and so....i might want to plan for a chalet....so that...i can invite everyone everyone.....and they can all come and see me....woohooo....that would so save me the trouble going around and meeting ppl all over sg....hahaha.......

now....my shopping urges....hehehehee....i have yet to get all the things i want to get...cos...i haven't really slimmed down yet....my wt is like constant for the last 3 months...although my uniform does seems tighteer.......hehehehee......

down...sick....haiz....

oh wells....just when i thot i have evaded the cycle of falling sick every 3 months....haha....it hit me again...so...yeah...i fell sick on a dismount day...and....i dun even have MC...haha...ok la..i did reject getting one.....

in anycase....it was a very sucky dismount today....erm...i think as compared to the last sucky dismount (when i got scolded by everyone on the mounting day)....this is much worse...cos..this time...it was someone within us that doubt me....which i seriously think that the intention that is more humiliating than saying it out....especially when after some childish ppl got into childish fights...and decided that...ok...now to confuse everyone else...and to make everyone seem as childish and evil as he is...he shall pick on everyone else.....and..erm...well...lets start with terence....

i mean...if its really my fault...just say la....and pls...dun beat around the push...and for fuck sake....(yes...i'm using the word fuck).....dun confuse things la....and....the way you guys say it....especially...after the opening of doubting someone's integrity.....and then frame me up like that........its not fair to me at all lor...its really not........

if you think that it could be my fault, just tell me straight lor....pls dun beat around the bush..and wait for me to admit, becos...it has never occured to me that i might be the one who spoil it...i really didn't think its me.....and it really wouldn't hurt to mention it straight in front of my face and not go 1 big round......really u know.....that feeling sucks...becos u just got pushed to the execution table without knowing really if its you or not.....

and i'm beginning to think that this place is full....really really full of politics.....oh wells....you guys want to play politics...fine...i'll do that.....but beware....i'm no stranger to politics....i'll be the most scary bitch u guys have ever seen..........lets see who shall outwin who...!!!!!!!

p.s. its not a good day to fall sick....or should i say..its a blessing in disguise.....

hmmm....just some random things....

wow...this is like....a long long needed post...haha...its been into my 3rd month here in GB already...things are slowly getting used to already....until the big thing known as ORD happened to my section mates....

so...kenneth and john both ORD liao....which is like...yeah..finally..their hard earned freedom!!!...very happy for them...though at the same time...i'm just pondering how long will mine take...hmm..in abt another 1 year and 4 months...haha...but at least there's a date to end it all...i must think of a crazy thing to do for my ORD...haha......something very crazy...like standing at the train track and shout ORD to the whole world!!!!!

haha...anyways....good luck to those ppl who have left platoon 2...be it the ORD ppl...or those that are so lucky to get posted out....i'm still there....trying to change the things bit by bit...still dun understand why are the ppl there so gloomy....but oh wells....its time to infuse some positive vibe there...haha....

alrites...its pretty short...but yeah..thats all!!!....see ya....

p.s. i finally get a clean cupboard to myself after all these weeks here!!!

my personal want list...

ok...so..to make my every month work go and feel better...i've drawn up a personal want list...by which i'll get once i hit a certain target of months and savings...hahaha.....

they are...as according to the sequence...

1. white casing for my hp
2. a new brand of perfume...perhaps...narciso rodiguez
3. polos shirt...paul smith..then RL
4. sunglasses...this time..something ex..haha...prada perhaps??...
5. erm...new loafers??...
6. ehz...jeans...straight cut bottoms??
7. accessories...lots of them....

that ought to give all of you some ideas on gifts to buy for me...haha..rite??

looking back at my year....

today is the very first day of 2009...by right i should write abt my reflections yesterday on the very last day of the year...but i thot....its nice to have a new beginning by looking back on how life was to me....

2008 wasn't the best year i had in my entire 20 years on earth..but i would say..its the year i had the most changed....

physically...i finally came down on my weight and i feel so much fresher and better looking.....

mentally....i gone into NS...where every boys become men....although i might have gone thru that stage before i entered NS...but it had certainly made me more independant....

spiritually....i feel that somehow...i got a new life...a new start weighting to begin...but perhaps that will be sometime after my NS...haha....

so...i would say...life has been good to me for 2008 like the many years before....in anycase....i'm ending off.....with a wish...that everyone i love and i care abt....yes yes...u reading this...will have a wonderful 2009 ahead!!!!!!!